Week Five;
So, I was actually headed home Monday… Remember those bites I mentioned last time, they got infected, my eye swelled shut in less then 2 hours and my arm really hurt. After I woke up Monday, the pain wasn’t as bad so I thought since all I’m going to be doing is sitting and sleeping on the bus I could make it home and if it gets worse I’ll just have my mom bring my straight to the hospital. Well, I didn’t even make it to the bus station… I fainted on the subway going to the bus. Someone apparently pulled my off at the next station and I was put into an ambulance then admitted into a hospital for 2 nights. While in the ER they did blood work, everything was done on my right arm since my left was infected and swollen, on my hand which was different for me. Right after my hand started to swell and instantly bruised, so I lost full use of both arms, then they put the iv into my hand, but my forearm started to swell from it, so it had to moved further up my arm.
My cousin showed up with friends and like fifty bags - they had just gotten back from a trip and for some reason went straight to the hospital. At night/early morning they assigned someone to the other bed in my room and she kept asking for a sandwich. She also the next day ripped out her iv, bled all over the bathroom floor and the bed, ran away and was brought back. Asked for a sandwich nonstop before ripping out the iv again and actually left the building this time, she has apparently done this before… I like being stuck in a room with sane people. This was also a college hospital so each morning a doctor/instructor would come by with 5 or 6 med students to stare at us, it was a fun time.
When I got discharged, my cousin had to work so she sent her friends to get me. We got my anti-botics and went back to the house. We got along, so it was good. We hung around and ate. The guys didn’t enjoy my country music so I turned it up, heheh :) But they sang Barbie Girl, Backstreet Boys and N Sync. They were also amused who I talk differently, ha. They also stared at me while i took my pills because I have to mix it in with food or I can’t swallow them. That night we all hung out in the basement apartment, playing some games, they sang and stuffs. Pretty much did the same thing Thursday, expect we cooked dinner… it was more difficult then it had to be and we cooked way to much. After we watched a movie.
The next day my aunt got back at night and started cleaning the house like crazy, which she has been doing since. I haven’t done much, been sleeping a lot. I was suppose to go home Saturday, but my aunt said there was a lot of people on the weekends and it’d be better if I waited until Monday. So tomorrow hopefully it works out this time and I make it home.
Week Three and Four;
GBRKGJKBRHEKJOMGFUCKINGBUGS. Spent most of the last week sleeping. Infected bug bites ftw. And now I have new bites, they don’t seem to be infected, but they are so fucking itchy. There is one by my eye, my face feels like it is half swollen.
Its been 20+ here so I’ve been drawing outside and staring at peoples, nothing very productive though. I must somehow make sketchbook fit into suitcase… Also, I don’t understand New Yorkers. Heavy winter coats with 20+ degree weather? Not even windy and the sky has no clouds. Strange city people. Hopefully this week will be the last one here.
Week Two;
Bleeh. Got art supplies, so it has been a little better. Spent 260 at Costco… at least we got food? Ha. Weather did hit 20+ most of the week so I got to sit outside and draw. I’ve missed doing it, can’t wait until the water back home is safe so I can sit on the docks all day and draw.
I Never Thought I’d Say This,
I just want to fucking go home.
Week One;
Bus didn’t get lost and was on time, whaaa?! They almost didn’t let me cross though, apparently need a return ticket? Was not aware of this as last time I didn’t have one. The trains were a bitch though, stupid construction. Love waiting for trains that aren’t running and doing 3 or 4 transfers.
Food seems to be difficult thing here, spending over an hour deciding and ordering… Lots of noodles and sleeping. Also got dragged to a pool hall. Playing pool sober is weird. It is also hot here. Suppose to hit 20+ next week, while Toronto was fucking cold.
Another Year,
Its hard to believe today marks another year, I still have problems grasping its been years. Even now, it slips my mind and I start to go and talk to you. I’m always wondering how different our lives would be right now if you were still here. If I would have messed up, who my friends would be. Would I know the people I do today if you were here?
I don’t write to you often, but I don’t need to have the world know everyday how much I miss you and wish you were here. It won’t ever change and I’m sure you know it, which is enough for me. Rest in Peace girl ♥
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Really? I wake up with slightly puffy eyes and you decide I’m doing drugs? Can’t possibly be because I just woke up could it? Then go through all of my fucking shit and then fucking scream at me for it and not even bother asking? If you weren’t so fucking stupid you would realize what you found was fucking LIQUOR in a goddamn LIQUOR BOTTLE for fuck sakes. If you bothered to ask, you would know. You’re going to assume I’m smoking because there is a pack of smokes in the car? It can’t possibly belong to one of the million friends I have hung out with. Did you even bother asking? No. Oh wait, you did, but DIDN’T FUCKING LISTEN. You decided before I even finished I was lying, I got out maybe three words? You just threw away a whole fucking pack of someone ELES smokes. You honestly have no fucking right to stand there every fucking hour and yell at me or go through any of my fucking shit.
Pretty much all my friends are terrible people and bad influences? You don’t know any of them. I honestly don’t even know where I would be without them. You clearly don’t fucking support me in anything I do. Everything has to be done your way or I’m a terrible failure. You seem to believe I started a terrible downward spiral because I was ‘to busy being mad at the world’ after one of my best friend’s death. First I need to take down everything that retains her? You say that I need to forget her like she didn’t exist? Then you blame everything ‘wrong’ with me on her? I don’t even know how anyone can fucking think that. No, it was around that time I stopped trying to fucking please you all the time. I’ve lived most my life doing what you say, trying to please you, I got sick of it.
